My Protector
by SharpeBB
Summary: A short journal entry of Kari's, talking about how she feels about the protectiveness of a certain friend.


I wanted to try something a little with this, given it is supposed to be a journal entry. I wanted it to feel a little more natural, like someone may write just randomly, instead of an edited narrative. Hopefully it worked and comes across. Regardless, I hope you enjoy.

Oh, and obviously, I don't own Digimon.

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For the longest time, I didn't even realize he was doing it. When he stood in between me and danger, blocking me with his arm, it just seemed natural. Maybe it was because he had being doing it since we met. We bonded fairly quickly back then. And when Tai told him to keep me safe, he obviously took it seriously.

When I finally did start to notice, I didn't know what exactly to think. He was nowhere near as loud as Davis was (thankfully) so I never really thought about it that much. It was just one friend, protecting another.

Like he had always done.

Then there was the day that I first went over to the Dark Ocean. Certainly a bizarre day to be sure. And kind of hard to think that I got as scared as I did. Or didn't I guess. I was more frightened when I was fading in between worlds. Once I was on that damn beach though, it was more confusion I was feeling than fear.

Until Airdramon showed up and I didn't have Gatomon with me for protection.

And then he was there. Flying in to make sure I was safe. Just like he always does.

That was the day I started to really consider how and why he protected me. Why he worried as he did. As he does. He said he cared to much to let me go without a fight, and he proved it.

I remember several months later, I went over with Ken and Yolei. That time he wasn't there to protect me, but it turned out to be a good thing. Because together, Yolei and I grew stronger.

However when we reunited with the group and looked in his eyes, I saw not only fear and concern, but also guilt. He never told me, but I know that he felt like a failure. That he hadn't been there for me when he should have been.

I never had the courage to tell him it was alright. That he could never be a failure in my eyes. From the moment he gave Angemon the power to digivolve to MagnaAngemon, I knew that he could protect me.

And even though it wasn't romantic, I loved him for that.

I loved that he protected me the way he did. And even though Tai had told him to protect me, I knew that deep down, he protected me because he wanted to. Because he cared for me. Even though he hardly knew me. We were just two kids. Still young enough that we considered the other gender "gross and icky". But he cared for me. He was willing to put his life on the line for me. He had a bravery I never did. Bravery to show that he cared.

He's never stopped being brave in that way. He's continued to protect me, while still ensuring I grew on my own. He knows I can handle myself, but that didn't stop him from comforting me time and time again. Like during the second battle with Diaboromon and we both were on the internet.

When the twelve of us finally went to the Dark Ocean to fight both Daemon and Dragomon, I was convinced that he would be stuck to me like glue. He surprised me though. He guarded me, never even let me out of his sight. But he didn't fight the battles for me. He just made sure I got out of them alive.

And it hasn't just been our fights with Digimon when he's protected me. He's gotten in fights with guys that were making unwanted advances. He's turned town girls who he liked, because he knew they were uncomfortable with our friendship. Because he cared more about my feelings than the feelings of a potential paramour.

Jeez, did I really just say "paramour"? I really have been influenced by him. Sorry off topic.

I've struggled a lot at times, with whether or not I liked that he's so protective about me. I mean, it can be bad enough having Tai around, and Davis' obsessions just never seems to end. Even after all these years. But he can be worse than both of them combined. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen.

And it can be bothersome. It's less so now in retrospect, since I've finally figured out why he cares so much. Still, sometimes I do want to just yell at him and tell him off. But then I remember that's who he is. That's always how he's been.

Unconsciously, he shows how much he loves someone by how protective he is.

He always was very protective of Cody, because despite his maturity, Cody was still young when he joined us. And I know he saw a lot of himself in Cody.

He's obviously protective of his parents. I'm not sure who he's more worried for though, his mom, who's always looked out for him, or his dad, who for a long time only had Matt to take care of him. It really is a tossup.

Then there's Matt himself of course. Always in an effort to prove he's grown up, he tried to make sure his older brother can rely on him in any way possible. Including being a shield.

Patamon gets more protection than any else, obviously. When you have a Digimon partner, there's a bond that no one can break. And he's always been scared to lose Patamon again, even after all these years. That's why he carries Patamon so much. To ensure his best friend is always safe.

That, and Patamon is pretty damn cute and easy to snuggle. If I didn't have Gatomon, I'd have probably kidnapped Patamon a dozen times over.

But with how protective he is of me… I don't think he even realises what he does, or has done. It's at least three times what he does for Patamon. Now maybe that's because Patamon has the ability to turn into an eighteen foot tall angel, but either way, he's more protective of me than he is of anyone else.

And I've felt awkward at times, with how protective he is. It's scared off boys I like, who were afraid of our relationship, and it sometimes felt like he wasn't letting me grow on my own, even though that was never his intention.

But I know now how I feel about his protection. How I've always felt and been too blind to see.

It took me almost four years, and a really bad break up to make me see. To see my guardian angel for what he truly was.

To see that his protection is something that I really do want in my life. To always know that no matter how low I get, or whatever problem I may have, there is someone who is always caring for me.

To see that he's been there for me not just because he wanted to be there, but because he also realised that deep down, it was something that made me smile. Something that made me happy. Even if I didn't realise it myself at the time, he did. And he's always done everything to make me happy.

It took me so long to see that he cares for me more than anything in the world. More than work, more than friends more than family, more than Patamon.

It took me all this time, to see that he loves me.

He's told me he loves me a thousand times. But I always took it for granted. He often said it in such a way that made me feel special to have such a great friend. He never wanted me to feel uncomfortable with him. Again, he was protecting me in a way that I wasn't even aware about.

He hid his feelings well.

And I'm honestly kind of glad he did.

If he had ever just confessed to me, it could have changed our friendship greatly. And I would never have gotten the chance to live life myself, and go through the stages I needed to, to realise how I feel.

Again, how I've always felt.

To understand that the reason the love I felt for him was different than everyone else, because it was one of a kind. The kind you feel when you're with your best friend. Your soulmate. The person you couldn't imagine not having in your life. Because they're apart of who you are. And it always feels the same. Even if it starts at eight, but you don't understand it until you're twenty-seven.

It's the most amazing type of love there is.

So today, I'm going to tell him everything. I'm going to tell him why his actions, his protection was the greatest thing that could ever happen to me.

Because without it, I never would have clued in to who he is.

He's my soulmate.

My TK.

My Protector.


End file.
